"You should be more conscious when you are sleeping"
-Isabella Hatkoff (June 2010) on the breaking a pinky promise by her dad who was a sleeping
"You can't solve a problem with the same kind of thinking that created it." -Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
"Give a dog a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a dog to fish, feed him for a lifetime."
- Walter the Farting Dog
"Wouldn't it make more sense to read the legislation before approve you it?It's like asking the architect to design the house after it is already built."
-Paris Hilton
Coming Soon
COMING SOON
STICKMAN VIDEO COMPETITION
We're looking for good voices. Email us if your interested:
Revealed: Monetary Allegory of "Wizard of Oz" Inspired by Free-Silver Movement /Bi-Metallism and Wlliam Jennings Bryan's "Cross of Gold"
The twisted Broadway smash "Wicked" tells us we don't really know what happened to make the putrid green Wicked Witch of the West wicked and the counter-narratives on all the major characters and props. Life is complicated as our Secetary of the Treasury has quickly found out. It is a reminder that as the almost-lovable prison guard Seargent Shultz (the perfectly gutteral John Banner) on Hogan Heroes used to say "I know nussing!" So what do we really know about well....anything? Obviously "nussing"!
Here's a clip of Hogan's Heroes and Shultz that have been uploaded to youtube for you nostolgia fans.
And just in case you thought the Wizard of Oz was all about lions and tigers and bears. Well it really was about bears. But not the fuzzy huggable type. Rather the the ones that lived on Wall Street. Here is a link to one of the many speculative but compelling monetary allegory interpretations of what the the Wizard of Oz was really about. Oz stands for "ounce" and the yellow brink road is about the gold standard as opposed to silver and the proposed switch to bi-metalism which wasn't well received. Click here to read this essay. Even if it isn't accurate, it is sure fun to think about. Read on. It is wickedly provocative.
For you monetary history buffs here is a cool link to William Jennings Bryan'sCross of Gold Speech including both audio and transcript.
Oh btw, here is a youtube video clip for all of you conspiracy theorists regarding a purported suicide by one of the munchkins unknowingly caught during filming. Only 2 million people have watched this video on youtube so far! I think if I watch it 2 million times I will probably see the dead munchkin swinging from a tree as well.
Published Irregularly Weather or Not We Feel Like ItAny Damned Time We Please
Important Dislaimer: In case any reader doesn't quite get it, this is parody protected under the first amendment of the Constitution of United Statements of America. If you don't like the law then feel free to go try and change it. If you are interested in further information on freedom of the press we suggest you start with John Milton's masterful essay "Areopagitica" (1644) http://www.uoregon.edu/~rbear/areopagitica.html
Turn Me on Dead Man: Beatles Conspiracy Theorists Move Over....developing
Holy Sh*t!!! "Paul Isn't Dead"; It's Government Motors!!! And Axl Rose Is Behind It All.... developing
"Axel" Rose and Slash's Secret Plan to Save Detroit 22 Years in the Making; Want to Buy U.S. Stake in Ailing Automaker
Iconic Rockers Will Officially Rename 80's Classic Anthem to "Pair-a-Dice City" in honor of GM's High Risk Bankruptcy Filing
New Album "Chinese Democracy" Takes on a Whole New Meaning
Over 2.5 Million People Have Watched This GNR Youtube Video. Why???
Remember when the Beatles Conspiracy Theory (1969) was all the rage. You could hear "I buried Paul" at the end of Strawberry Fields and if you spun your turntable backwards on Revolution Number 9 and (you were high enough) it said "turn me on dead man". This all led to mass hysteria and every single aspect of the Beatle's was anatomically dissected most notably the cover to Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club:
Well it all turned out to be a bunch of hoo-hah. Paul's alive and well, two greats are gone and Ringo still remains the luckiest drummer inthe history of the world.
But perhaps inspired by (or not to be out done by) the business genius of Jimmy Buffett who just snatched up the naming rights to Land Shark Stadium (the home of the Miami Dolphins) for a song (he rewrote the lyrics to his classic "Fins" it seems Axl Rose and Slash want to be business moguls as well.
But conspiracy theorists are convinced that this was not a spur of the moment decision but a well conceived plan hatched over a 22 year period. Even the lyrics to the original version of the song ( Paradise City) are highly prophetic:
Take me down to Paradise City
Where the grass is green
And the Girls are pretty.....
Where the grass is green? Sound familiar? The "shoots of grass" metaphor has been carefully used by the Obama adminstration to describe the fragile recovery/state of the global financial markets. It's clear that Axel and Slash have been yukkin' it up with Timmy Geitner and Larry Summers. Seems they have been trying to negotiate more favorable terms on their TARP financing. Rumor has it Larry Summers has had a man-crush on the lead guitarist Slah for years and showed up for a meeting in his underwear sporting one of Slash's patented Abe Lincoln stove hats. Slash was over-heard whispering to Axel, "what a d@#che bag!!!!"
But Summers offerred to cut the rate on the financing by 25 basis point and all was forgotten. Sources have confirmed that the GNR boys intend to team up with the Chinese government as their financial partner in the venture to take out the U.S. stake. When asked if he had any image problems teaming up with the Chinese Government, Axel responded "do you have any idea how f...king bad the record business is?" Apparently officially changing the spelling of his name from Axl to Axel was an easy lift. Said Rose: "My search engine optimization on google was a mess without that "e" in Axl. And now that I am in the car business it makes perfect sense bro... don't cha think?"
There is further speculation that Eminem and Sasha Baron Cohen had intended to join investor group but that rumor has been dashed since Cohen-cum-Bruno descended and wrapped put his hairy butt around Eminem's face at the MTV awards. Shortly thereafter GM's stock achieved the impossible and went to minus $2.42 a share on the rumors before recovering to its day high of $0. Stay tuned to see if this conspiracy theory is the real deal or just another extraordinary popular delusion. Welcome to brave new world of capitalism in Amerca.
The Obama administration’s plan to help millions of troubled homeowners avoid foreclosure by reducing the size of their mortgage payments is just getting off the ground.
So far, two months after the program went into effect, about 55,000 homeowners have been extended loan modification offers, according to a senior administration official. At the same time, foreclosures continue apace. RealtyTrac reported Wednesday that foreclosure filings reached 342,000 last month, up 32 percent from April 2008. Moody’s has estimated that more than 2.1 million homeowners will lose their homes this year. Click here to read full article in New York Times.
You might want to review an entry from January 24, 2009, but i have cut and pasted for your convenience because most of you will be too lazy to search for th entry.
From EPD January 24, 3009
A Little Off on Our Projections Are We?
What do you say when the federal government's center piece program designed to assist 400,000 homeowners facing foreclosure only attracts 312 applicants? Mathematically speaking that puts the pace of the housing recovery at approximately 1,270 years give or take a little. Actually its even a little worse; purportedly less than half who applied actually utilized the program. So let's give HUD Secretary Steven Preston a round of applause for acknowledging the failure! (Applause).
HUD Chief Calls Aid on Mortgages A Failure Congress Blamed For Shortcomings
By Dina ElBoghdady Washington Post Staff Writer Wednesday, December 17, 2008; A01
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Steve Preston said the centerpiece of the federal government's effort to help struggling homeowners has been a failure and he's blaming Congress.
The three-year program was supposed to help 400,000 borrowers avoid foreclosure. But it has attracted only 312 applications since its October launch because it is too expensive and onerous for lenders and borrowers alike, Preston said in an interview.
"What most people don't understand is that this program was designed to the detail by Congress," Preston said. "Congress dotted the i's and crossed the t's for us, and unfortunately it has made this program tough to use."
The criticism comes as Congress prepares to weigh in with further plans to help distressed borrowers facing foreclosures, which are at the root of the financial meltdown. This week, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) demanded that the Treasury Department use some of the money from the $700 billion emergency rescue package to help at-risk homeowners. Click here to see article.
One of the Six AAA Rated Companies Left Issues Debt
The Swan flu is has arrived. As the Jewish community struggles with what to call the slightly deusion mass panic over the non-koshritic H1N1 virus, I would suggest a rather likeable political outbreak of coolness is pervading Washington. Right or wrong Obama and his press secretary Robert Gibbs never seem to loose their cool. Obama even seemed to get away with laughing heartily at Wanda Sykes' over-the-line-she-didn't-really-just-say-that-did-she? quips regarding missing plane flights, painkillers and kidney failure at the Whilte House Correspondents Dinner. But Obama's disarming style and trillion(s) dollar smile does create an air of reassurance and self-confidence that is on balance good for the financial markets seeking cool-and-calm-steady-as-she-goes demeanor to counter balance the Geitner ugly duckling in transformation. What else can explain the suckers' rally if that's what this little blip is?
Catch this little gem of humor and grace under pressure from press secretary Robert Gibbs when cell phones start commandeering a press conference. If Geitner catches a case of the Swan flu maybe the rally will stick around for a while longer. At least until the market figures out if the stress tests hold water or were just a head fake. Still trying to figure out why Microsoft who can't figure out what to do with all the cash they have on hand on the first place would issue $3.75 billion worth of bonds. Maybe a call from the swans asking them to show the market isn't completely dysfunctional. Just a thought.
"Never in the history of the world has there been a situation so bad that even the government can't make it worse."
-Unknown
This unattributed quote is so profound that my money is on Alfred E. Newman, who now runs a small hedge fund based in Santa Monica. Though his timing was a bit early Newman accurately predicted the crash of the sub-prime market in 1964 nearly 30 years before there were any subprime loans. Our hero, Nouriel Roubini, frequently credits Newman for this insight.
If Newman isn't the source then surely it must be none other than Albert Einstein who secretly aspired to be a broker at Merrill Lynch.
Brand Manager's Worst Nightmare: "Free Cheesebuggers Now Available at Domino's!"
Nasal Crisis Manager Urgently Needed to Counter Effect of Employee Generated Content (EGC)
New Slogan: "Snot a problem at Domino's!"
Is nothing sacred? The power of symbol and metaphor has long shaped civilization thoughout history. Every epochal disruption and crisis has its iconic moment or image that captures the Zeitgeist. A cross on a shield: (The Crusades), slogans: (One if by land, two if by sea! Remember the Alamo!) , an epic poem (the Illiad. the Song of Roland), a banner (the unfurled Oriflamme of St. Denis of france signaling "take no prisoners") , a painting (too many to name) , a song (Eve of Destruction) , a photograph (A Vietnamese man being shot in the head, a naked girl running). .. and now perhaps a series of short cell phone videos made by two boobishly bored employees at Domino's. Meet the new Domino Effect. Usually associated with military or foreign policy strategies or just mindless national competions (see youtube video below), the Domino Effect now has a whole new meaning.
Two incredibly powerful photos seared into our collective conscience about Vietnam
Crusades Oriflamme
Barry Maguire(1965) "Eve of Destruction"
Here is the more traditional presentation of the Domino Effect, for of all things, what seems to be the launch of the Euro:
While Domino's Pizza may have been pushed into an industrial blender of bad publicity and trashed their brand, the law of unintended consequences may be at work once again. Does this distasteful (although that may be a matter of opinion ) or certainly disgusting "filmmaking" tap into the best analogy for what is holding back the recovery and underscore what loss of confidence really means? The two bumbling employees "produced" a series of five disgustingly "behind" the scenes cellphone videos in the kitchen at the local Domino's. While Domino's tried to jump into full crisis management mode, their nightmare may serve as a powerful motage that serves as metaphor for the financial crisis. In this 24/7 news cycle with every citizen a journalist it became apparent about the post Madoff disintegration of investor and consumer confidence:
"Laddie, thar be buggers in them thar pizzas"
If Domino' s were a credit card company their latest "ad campaign" would be: Pizza: $5.99, Pepperoni:$.99 extra, Buggers: Priceless. Its just snot right. But Tim Geitner is probably a bit relieved; finally there is a crisis of confidence not related to the global financial meltown. In what may be considered the first major new media crisis for a major consumer brand-- Domino's Pizza--has been youtubed and twitttered into he blogoshpere with a cheese crisis by two witless employees - Bum and Bummer- whose on-the-job homemade videos have thrown the whole concept of pizza toppings into a tail spin.
Quickly taken down off of youtube for copyright infringement by one of the immediately fired employees here is a linkto a collection of idiocy personified. Be sure to ask for a box of kleenex and toilet paper with you next order form Domino's.
So please help the economy. Order a Domino's Pizza. If you are a patriot eat it yourself and have a nice cup of tea. Otherswise send it to a friend.
ps. I still go to salad bars in spite of the potential marination by "Human's Own Salad Dressing"
Saturday, June 6, 2009 at 02:28AM 
The twisted Broadway smash "Wicked" tells us we don't really know what happened to make the putrid green Wicked Witch of the West wicked and the counter-narratives on all the major characters and props. Life is complicated as our Secetary of the Treasury has quickly found out. It is a reminder that as the almost-lovable prison guard Seargent Shultz (the perfectly gutteral John Banner) on Hogan Heroes used to say "I know nussing!" So what do we really know about well....anything? Obviously "nussing"!
For you monetary history buffs here is a cool link to William Jennings Bryan's Cross of Gold Speech including both audio and transcript.
