Sticky's Twisted Picks

star date 02-10-09

From Today's Wall Street Journal

Credit Thaw? Cisco Issues Debt: 

Tapping the paranoid credit markets for $4 billion in a "museum" issuance  Cisco  will use the debt to buyback stock (further de-equitizing the financial system)  and build their a war chest for future acquisitions (way to deploy that money into creating new jobs guys!)

Alex Rodriguez Admits to Using 'Roids

Just when you thought there could be no more depressing news, the Yankees soon-to-be-former-icon Alex Rodriguez has emerged as the universe's newest Ex-Planet Pluto. Moving quickly to recover from the devasting Michael Phelps bong imbroglio, rumor has it Kelloggs is frenetically formulating an offer for Rodriguez to appear on the 63 trillion boxes of their Frosted Flakes to gussy up their tarnished image. "Hey, it's an improvement" said a company spokesman who spoke on a condition of anonymity. In response to Helen Thomas' piercing question at his first prime-time press conference President Obama spent 6 minutes addressing the scandal reciting from memory baseball statistics and used his extraordinary communcations skills with great humor and elan:  "I think it's fair to say Mr. Rodriguez has just gone  from A-rod to A-hole. Boy this is depressing!"

Dr. Doogie Geitner's Financial Proctology 101:

Timothy Geitner's plan to restore confidence in the banking system will be to further stigmatize "unhealthy" banks and create a caste system - how will Treasury determine which banks are healthy and which are not? It's anyone guess.  Presumably they will rely on the SEC, the regulators and rating agencies who got us into this mess.