I'd like to introduce you to a few of of EPD's latest guest contributors: George Washington whose reputation was built upon murdering a poor, defenseless cherry tree that did nothing wrong to him. Alexander "Shooter" Hamilton (that's right --the original Secretary of the Treasury, the man who brought you the New York Post and had worse aim with a pistol than Mr. Magoo). Last but not least, good ole Abraham Lincoln who has told me he can't take any more of this "Team of Rivals" crap. Asked me to personally send a note to Doris Kearns and tell her to zip it. "She wasn't there and she really doesn't know what she is talking about."
These three columnists are people you can trust -even though they're dead. And we hope to be recruiting more historio-bloggers like these three giants as we gain momentum and their agents see the wisdom in getting paid nothing to help save the nations.
So here is the first glimpse of our new commentators. Okay- I know. Georgie's a little bloodied and beat up ( just like the dollar itself upon whose green parchment George's mug appears) --Abe's got a little bit of that Johnny Depp/Keith Richards/Pirates thing going on. So what if Shooter Hamilton looks a bit like Heath Ledger, (may he rest in peace and win the Academy Award).
After much deliberation and handringing I decided- maybe just maybe -- what this country needs is some good old-fashion leadership to restore its credibility and rebuild confidence in itself. (Our current crew in Washington has done a fantastic job in flipping out every domestic and foreign investor - large or small- on the planet). Who better than these guys- dead or alive-who've been with us all along and have alot invested in this increasingly dubious experiment called democracy and even more dubious system of resource allocation called capitalism. Perhaps they can help us fnd something we lost along the way known as our "legacy". As we rapidly approachthe highly endangered species list facing extinction due to our own stupidity, it is not too late. A rendezvous with destiny? Hell no! Just a confrontation the Chinese who own $2 trillion of our debt.
With these new columnists from history we now have our own versions of Maureen Dowd, Thomas Friedman and David Brooks. Here are people from the government and, remarkably, they are here to help, share their wisdom and shed some light on an increasingly dark mood that is sweeping across the globe like wildfire. But we need to laugh again: at our delusions, at our folly and at our ourselves. No civilization under siege (did you ever watch that snake eat itself on Animal Planet?) has ever recovered without humor- however dark and tasteless it may be. So god damn it! Makes us laugh! Stay tuned. They'll be back regularly in Dead Men Talking and the Presidential Advisory Council here exclusively at EPD. As George Washington told me (in the spirit of Albert Einstein) "If I had known this is what would happen to the world, I would have lied to my father about the friggin' cherry tree!"
